So you had a bad day...

I keep thinking of that song in my head today. I had a million different things I had to do today and very little time to do any of it. I did do all that was on my list thankfully, but I also had been up since 6 am because of my stupid temps. My temp shot up a little more yesterday only to come crashing down on me today. I wanted to cry and throw a fit and just freak out on BOTH (yes both) thermometers. Neither one was telling me what I wanted to hear. Adam came in to say good night to me and when I told him about me not ovulating this cycle, he just looked at me and said "Baby, I'm sorry. I wish I could make it all better." I can't believe I am probably not going to ovulate this cycle. Adam keeps asking if I'm sure and if we should keep trying "just in case". Poor guy wants a baby just as badly, if not more than me. Just thinking of it makes me cry. I so just wish I could give him what he's been wishing for and waiting for since we got married. He had to go back into work later on after he came home because the power went out and no one could fix this or that in the store to keep things running. I decided to help by bringing in carts. While doing this, one of his employees came and told me "I've been meaning to talk to you about what happened. First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. There are never words that can really make you feel better, I know. Don and I were pregnant 8 times and only have 3 kids. 2 sets of twins we lost and our latest loss was at 17 weeks. I know its so painful and there is always going to be that hole in your heart. I know you have a great support system online, from what Adam tells me. That's all fine and dandy, but if you need someone to cry to in real life, give me a call." I started to well up because of the stresses of the day and told her "All I want in the whole world is my baby. I feel like such a failure because of what happened. I know it wasn't anything I really did, but I still feel at fault." I had to fight off the tears because I really don't want to br crying in front of his employees. I hate the sympathy looks. There was so much that I felt today that I can't really put down on a computer or on paper.
The other excitement today was when I came home from all my little "to-do's", there were 3, count em, THREE police vehicles. Two were sheriff's dept and one was "Lake Shore Police". The Lake Shore officer was leaving when I pulled in and I almost ran into him while rubbernecking the other 2. I was shocked! We live out in the middle of no where. The most excitement we see is when people park on the side of the road to go fishing where the creek meets the lake. I hear its a good fishing spot. Anyway, I took a photo on my phone and sent it to Adam as a "look at what's going on here!" and went inside. I didn't really lock the door (like I said, its a pretty remote place, I think) and started up the computer. I wasn't even 3 bites into my burger when there was a knock on our door. I open it to find myself face to face with a sheriff's dept officer. I looked at him totally dumbfounded and said "Hi, is there anything I can help you with?" He tries to look behind me and asks, "Have you seen anyone suspisious around or heard anything odd going on around here today?" "No, I've been gone since about 9:30 and just got back about 10 mins ago" "I ask because there was a break in a little while ago and one of the guys who lives there came home to the guy breaking in and was shot at." Imagine me standing there at the door, burger in one hand and my jaw falling to the floor with a hard THUD. O.M.G. A BREAK IN? WTF? I had to ask "is everything ok?" "From what we can tell everything is ok, the guy took off on foot into the woods over in that direction. We don't know if he took off on foot or got into a vehicle after that. Was your door locked today?" "Yea, we lock the door knob. We only lock the dead bolt if we go out of town over night." "well when I leave, you make sure to lock all your doors and windows. We doubt he will come back but there is no need to risk it. If you can think of anything wierd, please let us know." and with that, he said good bye and walked across the hall. I stood there for what seemed like 30 mins, shocked. I kind of listened to what the guy across the hall heard and then ran inside and locked (both locks) the door and ran to the porch door. UNLOCKED. Both the screen door and the glass door were NOT locked. I about shit myself. We live on the second floor but it still scared me. I ran out, grabbed my poor dying plant and saw the lady that lives downstairs outside too. I decided to ask her what happened and she told me "I was in the shower and our porch door was wide OPEN. When I heard the shot, I didn't think that is what it was until the police came to my door. I had them search my whole house, especially my son's room. My boyfriend is always yelling at me for leaving windows and this door unlocked. I learned my lesson!" We chatted for a little while after that and watched the officer walk into the woods where I assume the guy ran off. The people down stairs use their porch door as their way in. The main door that opens to all the apts is always locked. It locks automatically behind you. I started thinking about when Adam and I decided to move into this complex. We almost took the other apartment in the other building (where the break in was) and that apt was on the ground floor. I had to sit down and just absorb what happened. My phone rang, Adam was on auto panic when he got the message and not knowing what happened. I told him the whole goings on and he told me "Lock all the doors and windows until I get home. From now on, we lock both locks and that porch door is always locked. We need a Jimmy bar for that thing." After we hung up, I decided to go lay down. Too much stress for one day. Adam called back about 30 mins after his first call and told me "I told my mom. She told me to tell you to not open the door again until you know who is on the other side. I'm on my way home now. I just thought I would tell you now so that you didn't freak out when someone came in." He told me later on that he came home because he was concerned about me. He wanted to be there "just in case" something happened. We are going down to his parents tomorrow to pick up some important documents and his shot gun. I guess I get to learn how to shoot tomorrow. First time ever. Quite frankly, I would have expected this in our old apartment, but not here! This is a community full of old people/retired/rich people. I suppose that makes it an easy target but you don't imagine that to happen so close to you! We don't go outside alone now and we aren't taking walks down to the dam any more. I want to know that this guy was caught before I go out on my own. I'll be lucky if I don't have a panic attack while trying to get in at least once this week! Strange thing is, I've been having wierd feelings when I come home. I felt like I was being watched and that put me in panic mode and I would FLING the door open, RUN inside, and SLAM it shut again. I tried to tell myself that it was just my over active imagination. Adam is gonna have to walk me into the house for a good long while now. Even now, I still get the chills and get afraid of the little sounds I hear. There are only 8 apts in this complex. Those are good chances for something bad.
I told you it has been an eventful day. From the smallest of things that have effected me directly, to the bigger things that have shaken all of us that live here to the core. It will be a good long while before we all get comfortable with the security here. I suppose I should *try* and get some sleep since I have to be up super early again. Good night!