How sweet it is

So, today I told my mom's parents. It was so cute because I asked my "Poppy" if "Grammy" was around and he said yes and handed her the phone and walked out of the room. I had to wait about 5 mins before she went to tell him that I had something I wanted to tell both of them together. When I told them they were talking over each other super excited and asking all sorts of questions "How far along?" "When are you due?" "When did you find out?" "How are you feeling?" and the works. It was so cute. They are so old fashioned so I had to explain how I knew something was different and how I found out so soon (hard to believe its been almost 2 weeks since we found out!). I am praying I'm as blessed as they both were (never sick, didn't get very big, lost all the weight and a little more very quickly) but have a sinking feeling I'm the odd ball. Always have been. But that's not all the good news in our family right now.
If anyone knows me or my mother's trials from the past 4 years, they would know that my mom has been fighting my little sister's father for custody and to get many of her things back. Well, my mom went to drop off my little sister for his visitation and he wasn't there. We are talking about a real con man so they hung around for a while. Still nothing. Call his job, they say he gave notice he's leaving and probably not coming back. The fucker is GONE! We know that there has to be something behind it so we aren't too optimistic about him being gone for good, but we are enjoying the peace left behind. He had just gotten his ass handed to him big time by a very smart judge and she wasn't letting him get away with anything. She had just taken away his overnights with my sister along with figuring out what money he has to pay taxes and to pay my mom back. He's royally screwed. My sister couldn't be happier along with the rest of the family. We just pray he's gone for good (don't care how, when or where) and my mom gets what's rightfully hers. Not much good news, but in the battle she's been fighting for most of my sister's life, its a huge victory.

Closing in on 5 weeks

and so far, I'm feeling pretty good all things considered. My boobs hurt like someone is beating the hell out of them, I'm bloated, and fighting fatigue and the urge to hurl my guts into the Big John. I need naps all the time. I really can't wait until I get some energy back. I know I should be nesting (and the urge to is SO strong) but I just can't get my butt up to do it. Thank God I have 35 weeks to do it!
Seems there is a mini baby boom on GP. Wouldn't be so bad but 2 of the newest ladies REALLY piss me off. Both are attention whores to the highest. I mean, come on, you can only turn a post about anything into a post about yourself so many times. And telling people they should have sympathy for you? Gag me. Really. I want to throw up on that. I know that as soon as they get more active on there I will be wanting to poke my eyes out with cattle prods.
But its been a week since we found out. Adam is still floating around and making sure I'm not working myself too much or stressing, eating enough, sleeping enough, taking my vitamins, the works. Its really cute to see him so doting. I only hope he doesn't get overbearing. I just might have to lay down the law. Still plotting revenge for the nipple poke. That shit hurts!

How big is baby?

Already a busy little bee, your developing embryo now has three layers. The outer layer, or ectoderm, will develop into the nervous system, while the endoderm, or inner layer, will become the liver, pancreas, intestines, and bladder. This week, the mesoderm, or middle layer, is developing into the heart and circulatory system, which will be the first organs to function. In the weeks to come, the mesoderm will also form the bones, muscles, kidneys and reproductive organs.
Hold onto your--breasts! If they don't feel sore yet, chances are they will in another few days. For many women, breast tenderness is the first physical sign of pregnancy. Other symptoms include fatigue, nausea, bloating, and, less commonly at this stage, a craving for foods containing salt, iron, or vitamin C.

How big is baby?

Week 4

Baby's Length: <.25 in.

Baby's Weight: <.25 oz.

Baby's Size: Poppy seed

It's official, and now you want to tell the world! Many expectant parents inform friends and family right away, but others keep the news to themselves for the first few months (when most miscarriages occur). If you work, you might want to delay telling colleagues until you're ready to negotiate maternity leave. You may also want to wait before breaking the news to other children, who may have mixed feelings about the arrival of a new sibling.

OHMYDEARGOD

There can't be two lines. But there is. And the digital can't lie, can it? It says the word I've been looking for for 14 long hard months. "Pregnant". OMGOMGOMG a baby.
Ok, so that is what was going through my mind on friday (but the digital is from today, I'll explain later) and I have been trying to keep my feet on the ground since. Now when I say two lines, I mean two lines. No "I *think* I see a line". No. There is no denying when the test line is darker than the control line. I took one before H got home and about fainted with how fast those lines popped up. I'm talking MAYBE a full minute before I knew. I put the cup (yea yea I peed in a cup) in the closet so that we could test it a few more times if he wanted. I also hid the test and jumped into the shower.
H got home and was like "ok, get to work and I'll be right in." So I went in, pulled out the cup and dipped one test and called him in. He stood over it until he saw the line. Then asks "so which line is the test line?" Then he asks "Have any more?" So he lets me dip another stick and watches that one. After he saw that there were undeniable tests right in front of him, he jumps over to me and gives me the biggest hug ever. I started bawling.
So, then last night, I can't stay away from the baby topic and just said "Mom, I can't keep my friggin mouth shut so here goes. I'm pregnant" and my mom about crapped her pants and got all happy and giddy! She was laughing and cheering me on for all the details possible. I told her to clear her schedule for Thanksgiving so she can make it up here for the birth so we'll see!
Then, today FIL was still gone on his fishing trip and so MIL, Grandpa Flo, H and I all go to church. Dear Lord above it was HOT in there. I about lost the little meal I had in me. I didn't go up for a blessing (I'm not catholic and can't take their communion) because my knees were weak. H ended up staying behind too. I had to really fight to keep my mouth shut because afterwards, because we had other company and I had to wait for them to leave. Finally they did and H was like "Should we tell them now?" "Well, I got some digitals for super cheap, I could pee on one and we just set it on the counter..." "Ok, go get one, sneak into the bathroom and take it."
So I go and do my part and read the instructions (so much easier than a regular line test!) and finish my business. Before I was done peeing, the result popped up (it said it would take upto 3 mins! that was maybe 1!). Pregnant. H then calls "I need to pee so hurry up!" without thinking I say "there's another bathroom!" then it clicks in my brain. DUH! he wants to see it before we set it out! So I hurry up and then hide the test in case he did go to the other one. he did but he made it quick, went into the bathroom I came out of, grabbed it, looked at it, then followed me the 10 feet into the kitchen. I walked in and stood across from MIL and jumped into the conversation. Huge smiles on our faces, H puts it down and walks away. MIL looks over (cause I can't stop looking at it) with a look that says "WTF? What is that?" and FIL is asking MIL about something. Finally she can't stand it anymore and jumps up to see what it is. FIL bellows "TAMMIE! Answer me!" She hollars back "Shut up, Scott! Their PREGNANT!" OMG the looks on their faces! I think the test laid on the counter a full 90 seconds before it got to her. They are so over the moon but understand no one else can know just yet. SO exciting!
So, that's all that's been going on so far. 4w2d now. November 28th for a due date. WOW. its all so real!

WOW. That's all I can say

Its been a little bit of chaos going on since the last time I did anything here. Sam miscarried...found out her baby stopped growing at 6 weeks...she was supposed to be 9. Basically it was a blighted ovum. Stupid drs didn't even do a D&C for the poor girl. Luckily enough she's thinking about trying again in a few months after re-revaluating some stuff in their lives. I have to hand it to her, that takes some strength when you are that far along and aren't married or anything like that. Strangely its brought us closer.
As for the others who thought they were, I convinced them to keep peeing on sticks until they either get a + or their period. I swear one of them (Randi) peed on a hundred dollars in EPTs and FRERs before she stopped and realized that all those tests can't really be wrong. MY GOD! I dunno where she learned about sex ed but that teacher needs to get egged off stage.
Personally, I've had so much happen its not even funny. I've had a family member die, gone to 2 funerals in less than a week's time, dealt with yet more family drama, found out my cousin tried to kill herself by OD'ing on pain meds, found out more people who are unmarried are pg, and had to deal with so many other personal things. I ended up not going in for my 7dpo blood test because it was on saturday (again...thank you body) and I am so sick of going and having to wait almost 3 weeks for my results. That's right, 3 WEEKS to find out that all the results came back "Normal". Thanks for letting me sit in limbo for so long! I'm not going to waste more money for you to wait another 3 weeks! I'd rather spend that money on my eyes or teeth ffs.
Not to mention I've come to see who is really a friend and who was just faking it. Pretty apparent when all that is going down is happening and all they want to do is nothing. That's ok though, at least those who are real and true have stuck by me like glue, and I thank those ladies from the bottom of my heart. You ladies are AWESOME.
So, the family drama...never ending. I basically got a letter from my dad literally days before my husband is going to put his great aunt in the ground. The premise of this letter? JEALOUSY. My dad is SO jealous of my mom and the relationship we have. He got upset that I called my mom and grammy (and step father) my heroes on my myspace. We are talking about 2 women who had to deal with one of the most DEVISTATING losses you can have and have picked themselves up and carried on. Grammy lost her SON. My mom's older brother. My dad's best friend. My step father has basically adopted my little sister when her own father was using her as a tool to destroy my mom. Not to mention how he has had this DEEPLY seated love for my mom for TWELVE YEARS. And my dad hadn't checked my myspace recently or he would have seen I added him too. Too bad he keeps trashing that relationship. What father makes his daughter pay for EVERYTHING during her junior and senior years in high school AND the electric and water and gas and trash and internet and phone and gas for the truck and his money for going on dates and groceries and repairs needed on the house. No wonder I'm STILL hurting from this shit 7 and 8 years later. And that doesn't even touch the shit he put me through when I was a little girl. Promising he was going to come and pick me up for the weekend. I would go out to dinner with my mom and then step dad on friday and come home dreading seeing if there was a missed call on the caller id. Mom would always run to the bedroom to listen to the message before so she could prep me and be there when I heard him talking about how he couldn't make it because he had another date. I met MANY of my dad's first dates. I played with MANY kids just one time. Many of those women beat the piss out of me if he was with them longer than a month. I was lucky if I saw him more than once every other month. And he wonders why I have issues trusting him? He once walked out on a girlfriend when I was like 4 telling her "I'm fucking out of here. I can't stand you anymore. Just remember to return Megan on sunday". He WALKS OUT and leaves ME there with this psycho who then starts to beat the shit out of me! I locked myself in a bedroom to get away and later on that night he cooled off and came back and said sorry. Nice. WAY TO BE, Father figure.
On top of it all, my dad is jealous of my in laws. MY IN LAWS. A woman who was there when my dad called my mom to come get me and take me back to Colorado. A man who helped me get my first, second, and third car. I may not see eye to eye with them (at all at times) but COME ON. My dad actually told me that I should tell my MIL that Adam and I aren't going to have kids until we are 30 just because she is pushing us to have kids. Like Adam and I aren't smart enough to have our own original thoughts. We must be total idiots to think we can live without them anywhere near by because we can't function without them. I guess he must be right. I mean, I'm so fucking dependent on my dad. He needs me to cosign a new business venture, to baby sit my brother, cosign a new vehicle, give him money, buy gifts for my brother, showing gramma I'm not a total failure, prove that daddy isn't a total failure (his own mother thought an abusive mother fucking SOB was a better father than my own dad) and that's only scratching the surface. Evidently my whole family likes to discuss the only grand child who didn't get herself knocked up out of wed lock and end up with some other dude. My own grand mother (dad's mom) said that I would end up 16, pregnant, married and divorced by 18, and fat and ugly for the rest of my life. Thanks for the support. Everytime she sees me, first thing she says "I'm surprised you aren't fatter". LOVE the family.
So when people jumped on my case around V-day when I was dealing with family issues on BOTH sides, anyone who still has issues can fuck off. I've got enough I'm dealing with.
I know its old news by now, but guess what, 24 year old issues don't go away that easily when its thrown in your face regularly.