So this is life...

Life. Odd as it is, we live it to its fullest no matter what it throws at us. Heartache or the purest of joys. Total happiness or utter devistation. We all seem to want to make life be EVERYTHING we aimed for, get mad and upset when it doesn't turn out like we hoped, and praise the Gods above that things are totally going our way. Life is difficult no matter which end you are on. You always know that when your luck is up, someone else is wondering "Why me?".
I have a lot to be thankful for. I've been blessed with the best husband I could have asked for. He is far from perfect and makes me want to pull my hair out on a regular basis, but I love a good challenge. This one is turning out nicely, if I do say so myself.
I have a beautiful son. He's the light of my life. I can't imagine how my life would have ever been full without him. His smile fills my world with the purest of light and his sorrows (while they are VERY few luckily) make me wish I could take away any and all pains he could ever feel (shots and all!). He's amazing beyond belief and he's such the perfect mixture of hubby and me.
I was blessed for 3 whole days with an angel baby that I will get to hold when I get where I'm going after this journey. I think about that little one often and wonder what my life would have been like. Would he be like Anthony? Would I have Anthony had the first pregnancy worked out? What would that other baby be like? Would I appreciate that gift as much as I do with this one? I don't know, but I know that this little angel I was blessed with for such a brief span on time still looks down on me and prays that I keep myself and my family on the right track.
I've got some of the best family there is. We are the picture of dysfunctional. My brother can't seem to keep his rear out of trouble, my sister is the eternal optimist and LOVES the spanish language like I used to. She's beyond over the moon waiting for her spanish conversation hearts I picked up at the after V-day sales! My little brother is a piece of work. He reminds me that patience is a TOTAL virtue I need to work on and that with that patience grows a BEAUTIFUL gift. My dad is there for me. I might have to listen to the typical father rantings, but he means well and seeing him hold Anthony makes everything right in my world for a little while. Its awesome. My grandparents are so great in how they try so hard to keep me going where I should be and they try to lead by example. Then there is Mom. Mom is the best friend a woman and new mom could pray for a lifetime for and never really know just the precious gift they have. She's been so supportive to the ends of the Earth. She was one of the few who told me I could TOTALLY deliver without meds. Thanks to her, I'm going to do it next time come Hell or high water. She came up just before Anthony was born and did all she could think of to make my life easier while she was here. I had to beg her to let me pay for a dinner or two and to cook for her. Still can't believe that she threatened to spank me if I didn't hand over the bill for lunch one of the times we ate, but she's mom. And you don't mess with mom. I can't believe I have such an amazing role model for Anthony.
There is Adam's side of the family who really tries to help out. The effort I could appreciate more and I try to let go of the ever controlling reins when I can. Its a hard thing for me. Its TOTALLY the German side of me! They also have been there when no one else was.
I've been blessed to be able to stay home and raise my son. We are coming out ahead and I couldn't be happier. Well, I could, but its not in the cards just yet, so I really can't complain until the option is there and its not used to its fullest potential.
My life is so amazing. I know I'm FAR from perfect (Anthony has rolled off the couch while I was in the bathroom...fluke accident not to be repeated and he's not exclusively breastfed since he was just about 5 weeks old), but Damn if I'm not trying. I know that the house could be cleaner, I could TOTALLY cook dinner more, and I could quit the formula and stick it out with the fenugreek to help my supply, but I like letting Adam feed Anthony a bottle or two so that I can't step out and enjoy my youth too. Plus, family LOVES this chance.
Anthony is blessed with a huge family who loves him. He's brought together generations of family who were fighting and not talking anymore. He's patched some REALLY rough spots with his beautiful face and killer smile. He even did it today with Adam's grandma he really doesn't get along with the best. The two talked much like nothing had ever happened. Granted this took cleared hearts and open minds, but I'll give lil man this victory. Anthony even has a FANTASTIC set of Godparents. These people we have known for Y.E.A.R.S. and trust them with so much. They simply ADORE my baby boy, which couldn't make me any happier. They actually kind of fought over holding him!
Life has thrown me more than just my fair share of crap. I don't want to get into details because this isn't about pity. This is all about being amazed with all that happens. I've somehow found a way through the darkest of times I could EVER think of to keep a relationship alive and thriving. I still haven't done the forgiveness side, but I think I've got time on that one before I need to get to that bridge.
I think that life is amazing. its so perfectly imperfect all the time. I can't believe that this is my life. Its like my best dreams and worst nightmares crammed into one. The best part is, I can't wake up just as its getting really good. I stay awake during the worst also, but that's what you need to appreciate just what you have when the good times are a-plenty.
Comments? Questions? Thoughts? Concerns? can I get a "Hell yea?" How about some comments from the non-exhistant?