Lately

So, lately in my life, I've been thinking a lot. And I've come to find a few things out about myself. I really don't like my family anymore, and I hate my in laws. They look for things about me, my family, and my ideas that they don't like. They will interrupt me talking to Adam and not even think twice about it. They get the cat all riled up and bitch about how mean she is to them and how nice she is to me. Yea. That's because I try to be nice to her at least 75% of the time. If I'm mean to her, its because its after she's done something bad. Plus I'm her Momma. I'm her safe haven away from them. My father in law will literally torture my cat all day. I've told Adam how much it bugs me because it only makes her more mean and he does nothing. I make a comment to them about how if they were nicer to her she would come around and be nicer to them. They laugh at me. LAUGH AT ME. Yea, that's making me feel great. If I ever want to talk to them about anything, they will change the subject on me because they don't want to talk about it. Like the miscarriage. They don't like to talk about it but I want to know what they feel about it. But no one wants to say anything.
I've also realized I really, REALLY hate whiners. I'm beyond sick and tired of people whining about this and that. Especially if they have something I want. I'm on the verge of just letting all my emotions out when the subject arises and letting them know JUST how I feel and their feelings be damned. They don't take the time to think about my feelings, so why should I return that favor?
And coming up on a year of trying to get pregnant, its torture to hear about anyone else getting pregnant. I mean, congrats to them, but really, its hard. I'm not even going to turn it into a pissing contest and say its because I've been trying longer or I've been pregnant before and I deserve it for this and that. Its just hard to listen to so many others get pregnant and leave me behind. Its almost like they just don't want to be around me anymore because I'm not growing another human being. Like I'm bad luck and should be avoided at all costs. Now if only they would realize this.
Hard to digest? yes. But God damn it, it needs to be said. I'm sick and tired of holding all this shit in. If you don't like it, don't read it.