I'm getting tired of charting for no reason...I'm about ready to just give up altogether.
Its getting really hard to want to temp anymore. I've actually missed a couple days temps. I just have a hard time making myself wake up for it when my OPKs are barely registering a test line. I've been thinking about nothing but my stupid chart and the whole lot lately. I know it will be hard to know when I O or when I'm late, but I think I'm willing to take that chance. I can see myself still working at this ttc well into 2009.
I feel strong resentment toward one of the girls at work. Pg with #2, her loser bf just popped the question (she's very stupid to have said yes) and all she wants to do is whine about how is sucks that she's pg again when she could barely afford her first child. Yea, she will tell me "Be glad you aren't pg. It sucks really bad." Thanks. That makes me really ache for that child I can't seem to have.
I know that I shouldn't be so upset over it because its only 7 cycles, but my cycles are so long that I've been trying over 9 months already! There are some ladies who can have 1 or 2 cycles in the time I have 1.
I've also been wondering what it would be like had I not m/c back in April. Today is actually the 5 month mark since it happened. How big would I be? What would it feel like to know what I'm having? To feel the movement in my belly? Would I have a nice round belly or just look fat? With so many ladies pg or with newborns around me, its so hard to not get upset.
I really think I should take at least 1 cycle off from charting. Maybe it will help me refocus.
Sorry for going on and on and whining. At least its out there and everyone knows what's going on with me. Sorry I've been such a downer lately.
Forever growing, this boy of ours...
14 years ago
3 comments:
Aw hun, I know how frustrated you feel. ((hugs)) it'll get better.
*HUG* I know how you feel. I'm on cycle 7 and I'm taking a break from charting. I've charted a few days since the beginning of my cycle because I wanted to see if I O'd yet. So out of 22 days, I took my temp 4 times. Not bad. It has helped so much. The time has gone by so much faster and I haven't obsessed nearly as much.
I encourage you to at least take a break from charting for one cycle. You can keep BDing if you want, but you won't have that chart to look at every day and wonder if your timing is right, etc. I will keep you in my prayers!
I actually think that the charting and such took away what little I had for sex drive. Thanks for the words ladies. Helps my choice that much more.
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